feelgoodlost.

Yeah, school has officially taken over my life. But I guess its that mutual feeling of every university student at this time of the year; Facebook statuses cluttered with people’s overwhelming hatred towards their homework, procrastination taking an all time high and the only thing people look forward to is the overindulgence in intoxicating substances.  

Anyways, even though work is piling up exponentially I’m still going to try and do something creative on this Tumblr, whether it be through short stories, reviews, music snippets I record or my own observations of daily life. Its about time I do something productive (rather than the usual school work of course).  

As I waited patiently in the garbage room of the Real Canadian Superstore for the compacter to finish crushing the previous load of garbage, one of the department mangers asked me a common question that so many my age get asked: 

“You go to school or something?” 

Now I usually don’t mind awkward silences, especially if it’s with someone at work but clearly this manager felt the need to create small, and sometimes, meaningless conversation. I’m not a huge fan of small talk with almost (well not quite) strangers. But I guess he needed to break the ice and kill this awkward silence.

So I obviously replied. 

“Yeah, I go to Laurier.” 

“That’s cool, what you studying?”

“History.”

“Oh I see, you paying for it?”

“Well, I’m splitting half and half with my parents.” 

Now this is where the conversation went from “meaningless small talk” to what I like to call a “mind disease”. His reply plagued my thoughts for the remaining hours of my shift, making me uncomfortable and uneasy with my not so distant future.

“Well I guess you’re only wasting half your money.”

Yeah, low blow. I wasn’t completely sure how to respond to such a comment, I just released an awkward gasp which sounded more like a failed attempt at a laugh. But his comment did make me think, not in the easiest of ways, but rather making me fearful. But I felt like I needed to write my thoughts down, which resulted in this blog entry.

Why not do something you like? Yeah, it is probably true, if I was exceptional at math or the sciences, I probably would have taken that route in University. But that’s about the whole idea if you like it or not. If you usually like something, then you tend to do better in that field. I started to lean towards the arts and without a doubt, I do a lot better in the Arts then I would ever do in the Sciences. However, there are the few cases where people don’t do what they necessarily like and go into fields where they feel are better suited for their future or what generates the most income.

I’ve come to realize that more and more high school students are choosing to go into post-secondary institutions, whether that is University or College. In result, competition within the work field will intensify and jobs will become limited and only reserved for the smartest and brightest. Yeah, I know it will be tough but I think I work pretty well, especially under stressful situations. My biggest problem with people’s thoughts about History, English or any other Arts programs (maybe with the exception of Political Science), that there’s a stigma or idea that you’ll go nowhere with your degree. That’s complete obscenity. I WILL go somewhere with my degree and will probably fight anybody who begs to differ. Just because I’m studying history does not mean I will become either a: Teacher, a historian, a desk clerk at a Museum or a “lifelong stoner”. While I may not know what I exactly want to do now, I have a few ideas. I have generated some interest in being a writer or a journalist, and with my newly added Film Studies major to my degree, I may want to pursue Film production classes after my undergraduate. Do what you want folks, just as long as you get a higher education. Dreaming is something that most people believe is restricted to adults and only allowed in the small little brains yet large imaginations of children, but don’t give up on lifelong ambitions. As a devout existentialist, I believe you make your own path, and the only way by doing that is taking risks (but safe risks, nothing too crazy). As long as you keep a good sense of reality and good knowledge of your strengths and weaknesses, you should be able to achieve what you want.

After a brief pause of complete and unbearable awkwardness, the compactor finished running but as the manager opened the doors to the compactor, he felt another urge to shock this conversation back to life or to whatever life it did have:

“So what are you going to do, come back here?” He chuckled as he spat out this comment.

“Hell no,” I quickly replied half way through his comment, “Definitely NOT.”

I then told him of my ambitions and what I hopefully would like to achieve after school. But as I was talking, I turned the conversation around and asked about his schooling and ambitions. Out of complete privacy and respect for that individual I will not restate what he told me, but all I know is that I will probably get farther than this individual, not because I’m “smarter” than him or anything, it’s because he just doesn’t try.

School is definitely one of the most fun but also one of the toughest times of your life. You may be bloating with fear at first but you gotta take risks. You gotta live the life YOU want. And it may not come easy, but the sacrifices will be worth it, ensure me.

As I turned my trolley around and headed towards the exit of the garbage room, I just spoke my mind.

“Just do what you want man, as long as you’re happy. Just don’t be stuck at the god-damn superstore for the rest of your life.”  

I didn’t really feel like making another review for these great albums like I did for Emarosa’s self titled for two reasons: 1) I have not listened to these albums to their full entirety yet but these albums (from what I’ve listened to) are pretty fucking good and 2) I’m lazy. 

The Suburbs- The Arcade Fire 

While I wasn’t a huge fan of Neon Bible, The Arcade Fire are brought back into my listening playlist thanks to The Suburbs. And not only that, The Arcade Fire are now one of the biggest bands in the world as they are topping charts in both North America and the U.K. These Montreal natives have grown, expanded and perfected their sound to create an album that is, dare I say, flawless? 

Download: “Ready to Start”,”Month of May” and “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)” 

Next on the list is Tourist History- Two Door Cinema Club

I don’t really know much about them as they have just recently been recommended to me by a friend. They have that dance like- British pop/indie sound that we all have seen and loved with Bloc Party. They are exciting, technical, electrifying and will make you wanna “bob” your head no matter where you’re listening. Fuck R & B and Hip Hop, I’m playing this at my next party. 

Download: “Undercover Martyn” and “Do You Want It All” 

Along with these albums, I have been also listening to: 

Forgiveness Rock Record - Broken Social Scene

Champion- Tokyo Police Club 

Day Dream Nation- Sonic Youth 

Flying Club Cup - Beirut 

Shake Hands with the Devil - Romeo Dallaire 

We’ve all heard about it, but common knowledge, or even the facts of the Rwandan genocide of 1994 are still foreign to the average person. I’ve been meaning to read this book for quite some time now, and now I have finally finished 1984, I have decided to tackle it. I already know a bit on the genocide, but I know this book will give me an in-depth and clear view on what really happened in those short few months. Being written by the man who experienced it all, I believe it is vital to get a first hand account on issues such as these. Apparently this book is extremely moving yet disturbing at the same time, and judging from the introduction, Mr. Dallaire isn’t afraid of holding anything back.